![]() ![]() As far as this world was concerned, he would simply no longer exist-just as this world would no longer exist for him.Īt the same time, Tsukuru couldn’t fathom why he had reached this point, where he was teetering over the precipice. ![]() The present world wouldn’t exist, and reality would no longer be real. It was a captivating, bewitching thought. Then this world, the one in the here and now, wouldn’t exist. I really should have died then, Tsukuru often told himself. For better or for worse, though, there was no such door nearby. If there had been a door within reach that led straight to death, he wouldn’t have hesitated to push it open, without a second thought, as if it were just a part of ordinary life. Perhaps he didn’t commit suicide then because he couldn’t conceive of a method that fit the pure and intense feelings he had toward death. Crossing that threshold between life and death would have been easier than swallowing down a slick, raw egg. Taking his own life seemed the most natural solution, and even now he couldn’t say why he hadn’t taken this final step. He turned twenty during this time, but this special watershed-becoming an adult-meant nothing. From July of his sophomore year in college until the following January, all Tsukuru Tazaki could think about was dying. ![]()
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